Writing for Mediocrity - Get Articles by Heather Reimer |  |
> Get Articles > Articles and Article Promotion > Writing for Mediocrity Writing for Mediocrity Download as PDFHeather Reimer heatherreimercodetel.net.do The Write Content http://www.thewritecontent.com Publishing guidelines: Please feel free to publish this article exactly as written with no changes to article or resource box. Please notify the author regarding when and where you will use this work. <a href="mailto:heatherreimercodetel.netdo.">mailto:heatherreimercodetel.net.do.</a> All copyrights remain with the author. Word count: 651 Writing for Mediocrity By Heather Reimer A while back, an Internet wit compiled a list of signs that you're not spending enough time online. One sure sign is that poor spelling and grammar still bother you. Good one! Unfortunately, there are no online grammar police ... just you and me, voluntarily dotting our own "i"s and crossing our own "t"s. And since you want to go forth and prosper as an Internet business, you're taking the time to do it, right? After all, as author Virginia Shea pointed out in her online book Netiquette, "On the Web, you won't be judged by the color of your skin, eyes or hair, your weight, your age, or your clothing. You will, however, be judged by the quality of your writing." Okay, maybe these days, people aren't as picky as they once were about speaking and writing perfectly. Whether that's okay or not, is up for debate. But if you lose coherency as a result... well, that's going to cost you money and that's not negotiable, is it? But, for those of you with too many clients and too much money, here are a few guidelines on writing for mediocrity: 1. Do not under any circumstances use the spell check function or have someone else proofread your text before uploading it. That wood be a horendus waist of time and serbs no porpoise. 2. If you don't have valuable content, don't worry... just substitute fancy fonts, busy wallpaper and lots of blinking banners. Your visitors will be so distracted they won't notice you have nothing to say. 3. If you quote someone, don't bother to get their permission or spell their name correctly. Why? See rule #1. 4. Exclamation marks rule!!! Your prospects have likely never seen this tactic before and so will think that urgent punctuation (!!!) requires urgent action (!!!) on their part. 5. Don't be afraid of large blocks of text. Readers see that dense copy and say to themselves: "Oh goody, I was just running short of things to read!" 6. Bury your lead. This is an old journalism trick practiced by old journalists who couldn't remember the point of their story. This delightful writing style requires your readers to plow through a slagheap of details before reaching the nugget of your story. Internet users are patient creatures with nowhere else to go, so don't hesitate to ramble. 7. If you want your readers to take a specific action such as order a product or "click here", don't state that outright. Subtlety is best. Give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they know what they're supposed to do. 8. Which brings us to tone. Your written tone of voice is very important. You never want your readers to suspect that a real live person is standing behind their words or, worse yet, standing behind their product. Just pretend you are a robot and the writing will come much easier. 9. Consistently utilize a preponderance of gargantuan words, even in localities where a more diminutive congregation of characters would be sufficient. This method, employed with great success by lawyers, will convince your humble readers that you are infinitely smarter than they are and they will buy your product or service out of sheer gratitude. By following the above guidelines in writing your content, you'll be moving the world one step closer to the day when the entire web is a syntax-free zone and professional writers (like me) spend our days fishing cigarette butts out of bus station ashtrays. ---------- Your online business CAN generate more traffic and revenues. TheWriteContent.com delivers action-inspiring web content, sales letters, newsletters, press releases and more. Editing/proofreading also available. For a FREE content analysis of your site, click here: <a href="http://www.TheWriteContent.com">http://www.TheWriteContent.com</a>. How useful did you find this article? This article can be downloaded freely from http://www.get-articles.com and used on your website or in your ezine so long as the author is credited and their resource box left intact. You should not change any links in the article, and where the article is used on a website it's links should be clickable. Please see our terms and conditions page for more information: http://www.get-articles.com/authors-publishers-terms.php |
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