LEAD INS/ONS: one Friday in November - Get Articles by Bob Pladek |  |
> Get Articles > Email Marketing > LEAD INS/ONS: one Friday in November LEAD INS/ONS: one Friday in November Download as PDFBob Pladek outbrokercomcast.net Insincerious Business http://mydeas.com I know you're going to find this hard to believe...(then again, maybe not): I have never READ nor PURCHASED nor even STOLEN an eBook on Marketing. If you're going to write about a subject, I figure why get all bogged down with information that might prove you WRONG. RIGHT? Because I cannot think of a more clever segue, I force upon you today some Lead Ins and Lead Ons that (no doubt) appear as 'sure-fire' attention-grabbers in many/most/all? Internet marketing instruction manuals (or, as we Popeye fans like to call them "IM IMs..." These here I find most appealing. Or amusing. Or just plain sad. But... Not only are these actual email ad subjects...these are email ad subjects I got in ONE DAY. TOday. And I'm not even counting the "enlargement" ones, the "credit" ones, or the "enlarge your credit" ones. (Both impress women, apparently.) We'll do this by category, with [my own take following]: (1) the YOU ALREADY DID SOMETHING (but didn't) * remember me? [I love this alzheimerish one.] * re: phone call. [No, no...that was our SON using the 900 service. REALLY, love of my married life.] * sorry for the delays [like you already did something, they were SUPPOSED to do something, and now are PROMISING again to do it. They've just been SO busy busy busy with OTHER people that they promised to do stuff for. Lucky they got around to you at all.] (2) the YOU ALREADY WON SOMETHING * congratulations! [Oh goody. Another 35 mm camera. Another PDA. One more faux leather briefcase. Ginsu knives. Look: I take a crummy picture, have no friends/appointments, am allergic to plastic, and am not allowed around sharp objects. But nice thoughts.] * your gift/prize/award/commission is waiting.. [so too that great looking, intelligent, sophisticated half CEO half June Cleaver half Sophia Loren person. (that's YOGI math, folks!)] (3) the YOU'D BE A MORON NOT TO ANSWER THE NEXT QUESTION YES!! * want 10 million buyers? [I dunno. I only have 1 Billy Beer can to sell.] (4) the BEG * PLEASE look at this. [Or..... we'll shoot our dog.?] (5) the CHALLENGE * I question your integrity!! [Two things: (A) you oughta know; and (B) you won't be the first.] (6) the CURIOUSITY PIQUE * my friend Chester has a fantastic offer [so fantastic I guess he went into cardiac arrest just thinking about it, and can't make the offer himself?] * breaking news just in [we heard you're a schmuck] * do YOU know what your ADS are doing? [I dunno. Pissing people off, like yours?] * important notice [oh....I think probably NOT] * amazing optical illusion ... [watch me build this marketing pyramid out of NOTHING!!!!! Sorry guys. Stupidity IS "something."] * What a Gem! [And me?.What a Jerk!] (7) the OUT OF THE ORDINARY * very special * very very special [I TRIPLE dog dare ya....!] (8) the WE KNOW WHAT WE'RE DOING * Marketing Giants Speak [actually, they write. And probably laugh a lot. And I bet they're shorter than ME.] * testimonial worth repeating [like a mantra. Or a movie with Mothra.] (9) the PARTICIPATION * vote for your favorite! [We don't know "favorite" WHAT. But I sure don't want to miss such a chance at exercising the franchise so many people gave up their lives for.] (10) the SCAMS REVEALED!! * SCAMS REVEALED (sorry...just worked out that way) [Funny.... but THIS one isn't on the list.] (11) the APPEAL to your PRIDE * Professionals Only Please [Like YOU guys...right?] (12) the RUNNING OUT OF TIME * QUICKEN offer ENDING SOON [nice little double entendre. Least, that's what I THINK it is. In any case, I'll wait for the next ending-soon-offer. Besides, they just said it was ending. NOT that it was any GOOD.] (13) the GROUND FLOOR * URGENT: Bombshells pre-launch [This is just poor phrasing. Maybe they oughta get together with the "Save $30 on Hooked-on-Phonics" folks.] (14) the THIS ISN'T AN AD * No Special Reason But To Make You Smile [And convince you to come to our site and buy crap. But that's just coincidence.] There are about a thousand OTHER categories, but after 14 of these I know you get the point. I'm reminded of a monstrous nest of chicks all clammering for that single pre-digested worm. I do, though, much appreciate this last one: "Free cigarettes! Great Home Business!" I'll need 'em, after all that viagra. © 2002 Bob Pladek http://mydeas.com mailto:outbrokercomcast.net How useful did you find this article? This article can be downloaded freely from http://www.get-articles.com and used on your website or in your ezine so long as the author is credited and their resource box left intact. You should not change any links in the article, and where the article is used on a website it's links should be clickable. Please see our terms and conditions page for more information: http://www.get-articles.com/authors-publishers-terms.php |
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