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> Get Articles > Negotiation > 7 Skills You Need to Negotiate Better

7 Skills You Need to Negotiate Better


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Naseem Mariam
naseemmprojectdioxide.com

Project Management Made Easy as 123
http://www.123projectmanagement.com


ABSTRACT: When confronted by a crisis, man usually takes

recourse to one of 2 options: fight or flight. However we

human beings have a third option -- negotiation -- which we

need to cultivate into a skill. Learn the 7 skills you need

to get the best from your negotiations.



=======================================

TITLE: 7 Skills You Need to Negotiate Better

AUTHOR: Naseem Mariam, Project Management Coach

WORD COUNT: 955 words

URL: http://www.123projectmanagement.com/self-negotiate-skills.html

MAIL: mailto:self07-articlessendfree.com



Conditions of use: This article may be freely published as

long as (1) the article is not altered in any way, (2) the

author information at the end of the article remains intact.

If you use it, please notify mailto:@pm4all.com



======== SIDEBAR =========

FREE email course: Self Improvement

How to Attain, Sustain, Maintain Success: Make Success a Habit

Success comes from Within (mailto:withinsendfree.com )



=======================================



When confronted by a crisis, man usually takes recourse to

one of 2 options: fight or flight. This is the traditional,

natural, in-built mechanism within all animals. However we

human beings have a third option which we need to cultivate

into a skill.



That is the option of negotiations - of discussions, debate,

and dialogue to arrive at a win-win solution to the crisis

on hand. Just what is Negotiation? What are the skills that

you need to have to get a fair deal in a negotiating table.



The definition of negotiation says: "a discussion intended

to produce an agreement"



Skills that help you do better at the negotiating table:



1. Self Awareness - knowing what makes you tick; and empathy

==========================



Understand your own strengths and weakness. Know what your

core values are -- what is it that you are willing to

compromise on or adjust with? Also you should have total

control over your emotions: understand how you behave and

what triggers can upset your composure.



Study the other party -- understand them and the background

they come from: what are their strengths and weaknesses. How

have they reacted in the past to such situations? Which of

the negotiating styles do they display predominantly:

Avoider, Compromiser, Accommodator, Competitor or Problem

Solver?



2. Identify: Creative and innovative solutions

========================



Develop an open mind, always have an inquisitive and

enquiring approach to every problem; think of the problem

less and concentrate more on the solutions. The problem

exists in a world of 'lack' and scarcity whereas the

solution encourages thoughts of abundance and plenty. Thus

focus on the solutions to maintain a positive outlook and

approach the negotiating table with confidence.



3. Analyze: Evaluate the pros and cons of possible solutions

==========================



Question 'what if' this objection is raised; what will

happen if this situation occurs.



Take a lot of time and care to evaluate the advantages and

disadvantages of the various options and solutions. Think

about and rank them on priority that you feel the other

party would rank the solutions; then rank it as per what you

feel is important.



Making a list of alternatives, evaluating the pros and cons

of each and then ordering them from most desirable to least

desired outcomes from both perspectives will give you a

better picture of the inherent value of each solution.



4. Communicate: listening, speaking, presenting,

questioning, match the medium

=========================



Good communication starts with good listening skills. What

is dear to the other person? What factors weigh heavy with

them? Now that you have taken the trouble to identify

solutions and evaluate the pros and cons, you need to speak

out and present these facts as you see them. Allow the other

party to present their points.



Then pause in your negotiations -- give each other time to

think: take a small break in the middle. The art of

questioning helps you focus better on the other person's

views and draw forth clarity into the situation on hand. It

is easy to persuade the other person when you use the

communication medium that they relate to: do they prefer

reading documents, or graphics and diagrams, or is it

bulleted points? Is it emotional feelings or logical facts

that drive the person?



5. Detach people from the problems; be fair in all dealings

(integrity, honesty, trust)

=========================



Be courteous, polite and show respect for the other party.

Keep a good handle on your negative emotions and give your

positive attitudes and behaviors free rein. Think and talk

only in terms of the problem and issue. Detach people from

the problem. Do not make personal remarks, hurting comments

nor be a sycophant and grovel at the other's feet. We are

looking for a win-win solution -- not just a solution.



Be fair in all dealings. Act with integrity to yourself,

honesty with others and gain the trust and faith of the

other party. Matching the non-verbal actions of the other

person helps build an atmosphere of trust and friendliness

faster.



6. Believe in sacrifice and service

==================



The purpose of negotiating should be to help you offer

greater service to others. Service and sacrifice are the

reasons why you are willing to negotiate and arrive at a

solution that is acceptable to both parties. You are willing

to sacrifice some un-essentials and not-so-mandatory

attributes in order to gain something better and longer

lasting and you sincerely believe that the other party is

also willing to give some in order to achieve much.



7. Be willing to walk away

==============



When you are being cornered into a lose situation, be

willing to walk away and drop all negotiations. Have the

courage to walk away rather that compromise on what you hold

dear. This once more emphasizes the fact that you should

know what your core values are i.e. Step One should be

completed first before you start negotiating.



The ebook "Project Serenity - How to gain happiness and

peace" gives you a more detailed practical information to

improve in these skills. There are case studies of a project

manager and how she realizes the importance of integrity,

honesty and trust in business dealings.



Finally, it is practice that makes perfect. Try out these

skills and practices of negotiation in smaller groups, with

peers, with siblings, with less critical issues and daily

problems and irritants. With practice you will be able to

stop looking at the people on the other side as enemies and

start thinking of them as collaborators and helping hands.



Together we should be able to negotiate ourselves to a

solution that was better than what either of us had

imagined. The win-win situation may take time and practise

to arrive at but it invigorates and nurtures both parties to

a great extent.



Related Reading

========



ebook "Project Serenity - How to gain happiness and peace"

http://www.pm4all.com/serenity.html



About the Author

=========



Naseem Mariam is the editor of "Management that Soars"

eNewsletter & author of "Project Serenity - How to gain

happiness and peace". Her writings draw life from her

18 years experience as software Project Manager. Let her

guide you towards Faster All Round Success and a Stress

Free, Joyous Life. Her free ebook and Newsletter tell You

How. Subscribe with mailto:projectdioxidesendfree.com

Visit her at www.123projectmanagement.com



===========================================





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