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> Get Articles > Negotiation > 7 Skills You Need to Negotiate Better
7 Skills You Need to Negotiate Better
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Naseem Mariam
naseemmprojectdioxide.com
Project Management Made Easy as 123
http://www.123projectmanagement.com
ABSTRACT: When confronted by a crisis, man usually takes
recourse to one of 2 options: fight or flight. However we
human beings have a third option -- negotiation -- which we
need to cultivate into a skill. Learn the 7 skills you need
to get the best from your negotiations.
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TITLE: 7 Skills You Need to Negotiate Better
AUTHOR: Naseem Mariam, Project Management Coach
WORD COUNT: 955 words
URL: http://www.123projectmanagement.com/self-negotiate-skills.html
MAIL: mailto:self07-articlessendfree.com
Conditions of use: This article may be freely published as
long as (1) the article is not altered in any way, (2) the
author information at the end of the article remains intact.
If you use it, please notify mailto:@pm4all.com
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When confronted by a crisis, man usually takes recourse to
one of 2 options: fight or flight. This is the traditional,
natural, in-built mechanism within all animals. However we
human beings have a third option which we need to cultivate
into a skill.
That is the option of negotiations - of discussions, debate,
and dialogue to arrive at a win-win solution to the crisis
on hand. Just what is Negotiation? What are the skills that
you need to have to get a fair deal in a negotiating table.
The definition of negotiation says: "a discussion intended
to produce an agreement"
Skills that help you do better at the negotiating table:
1. Self Awareness - knowing what makes you tick; and empathy
==========================
Understand your own strengths and weakness. Know what your
core values are -- what is it that you are willing to
compromise on or adjust with? Also you should have total
control over your emotions: understand how you behave and
what triggers can upset your composure.
Study the other party -- understand them and the background
they come from: what are their strengths and weaknesses. How
have they reacted in the past to such situations? Which of
the negotiating styles do they display predominantly:
Avoider, Compromiser, Accommodator, Competitor or Problem
Solver?
2. Identify: Creative and innovative solutions
========================
Develop an open mind, always have an inquisitive and
enquiring approach to every problem; think of the problem
less and concentrate more on the solutions. The problem
exists in a world of 'lack' and scarcity whereas the
solution encourages thoughts of abundance and plenty. Thus
focus on the solutions to maintain a positive outlook and
approach the negotiating table with confidence.
3. Analyze: Evaluate the pros and cons of possible solutions
==========================
Question 'what if' this objection is raised; what will
happen if this situation occurs.
Take a lot of time and care to evaluate the advantages and
disadvantages of the various options and solutions. Think
about and rank them on priority that you feel the other
party would rank the solutions; then rank it as per what you
feel is important.
Making a list of alternatives, evaluating the pros and cons
of each and then ordering them from most desirable to least
desired outcomes from both perspectives will give you a
better picture of the inherent value of each solution.
4. Communicate: listening, speaking, presenting,
questioning, match the medium
=========================
Good communication starts with good listening skills. What
is dear to the other person? What factors weigh heavy with
them? Now that you have taken the trouble to identify
solutions and evaluate the pros and cons, you need to speak
out and present these facts as you see them. Allow the other
party to present their points.
Then pause in your negotiations -- give each other time to
think: take a small break in the middle. The art of
questioning helps you focus better on the other person's
views and draw forth clarity into the situation on hand. It
is easy to persuade the other person when you use the
communication medium that they relate to: do they prefer
reading documents, or graphics and diagrams, or is it
bulleted points? Is it emotional feelings or logical facts
that drive the person?
5. Detach people from the problems; be fair in all dealings
(integrity, honesty, trust)
=========================
Be courteous, polite and show respect for the other party.
Keep a good handle on your negative emotions and give your
positive attitudes and behaviors free rein. Think and talk
only in terms of the problem and issue. Detach people from
the problem. Do not make personal remarks, hurting comments
nor be a sycophant and grovel at the other's feet. We are
looking for a win-win solution -- not just a solution.
Be fair in all dealings. Act with integrity to yourself,
honesty with others and gain the trust and faith of the
other party. Matching the non-verbal actions of the other
person helps build an atmosphere of trust and friendliness
faster.
6. Believe in sacrifice and service
==================
The purpose of negotiating should be to help you offer
greater service to others. Service and sacrifice are the
reasons why you are willing to negotiate and arrive at a
solution that is acceptable to both parties. You are willing
to sacrifice some un-essentials and not-so-mandatory
attributes in order to gain something better and longer
lasting and you sincerely believe that the other party is
also willing to give some in order to achieve much.
7. Be willing to walk away
==============
When you are being cornered into a lose situation, be
willing to walk away and drop all negotiations. Have the
courage to walk away rather that compromise on what you hold
dear. This once more emphasizes the fact that you should
know what your core values are i.e. Step One should be
completed first before you start negotiating.
The ebook "Project Serenity - How to gain happiness and
peace" gives you a more detailed practical information to
improve in these skills. There are case studies of a project
manager and how she realizes the importance of integrity,
honesty and trust in business dealings.
Finally, it is practice that makes perfect. Try out these
skills and practices of negotiation in smaller groups, with
peers, with siblings, with less critical issues and daily
problems and irritants. With practice you will be able to
stop looking at the people on the other side as enemies and
start thinking of them as collaborators and helping hands.
Together we should be able to negotiate ourselves to a
solution that was better than what either of us had
imagined. The win-win situation may take time and practise
to arrive at but it invigorates and nurtures both parties to
a great extent.
Related Reading
========
ebook "Project Serenity - How to gain happiness and peace"
http://www.pm4all.com/serenity.html
About the Author
=========
Naseem Mariam is the editor of "Management that Soars"
eNewsletter & author of "Project Serenity - How to gain
happiness and peace". Her writings draw life from her
18 years experience as software Project Manager. Let her
guide you towards Faster All Round Success and a Stress
Free, Joyous Life. Her free ebook and Newsletter tell You
How. Subscribe with mailto:projectdioxidesendfree.com
Visit her at www.123projectmanagement.com
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